"No, Stoo, go away." Stoo was utterly unfazed. "Kylee... I have chosen to go another way." "You mean you're going to start watching the history channel?" Kylee was in shock, and was pretty sure Brian would never allow such a thing to happen. "No. I'm going to open Brian's mystery package." "Oh, great" Kylee grumbled. "I bet you anything he'll blame me for letting you do this, and then I'll be in trouble because I'm supposed to be looking after his blog, not letting invisible friends wreak havoc on it." "What's the worst that could happen?" Stoo reasoned. "Well, when you put it that way..." Kylee was awfully curious about what might be in this mystery package. And after all, wouldn't they be doing Brian a favor? "Open it! Open it!" "Have you got a knife?" "I've always got a knife. Here," offered Kylee, brandishing her personal butcher knife. Stoo wielded the blade aloft, and brought it crashing down to the tape binding the irresistible box. A troupe of dancing posies waltzed out and sang some nice songs. Kylee and Stoo were enchanted. Suddenly the box exploded! KKKHHHHRRRREEEEBOOOOOAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!!!! Debris flew everywhere! Brian's blog shuddered with the impact, then sank to the ground. It burst into flames. The whole place had gone to pots! When they were relatively certain nothing more was going to happen, Kylee and Stoo lifted their heads. "Now, the main thing to remember," Stoo reminded her, "is to pretend nothing ever happened. Act natural, and Brian won't notice a thing." Kylee was skeptical. "Right. We'll sit right in the middle, the picture of innocence, and he'll never suspect. I mean... it doesn't look THAT different, does it?"

"KyleeKyleeKylee! Guess what!" Kylee ducked to avoid an unidentified flying person tackling her. Unfortunately, she didn't duck hard enough, and an "oof!" escaped her, along with most of her breath, as she was unceremoniously knocked to the floor by said unidentified flying person. Kylee groaned as she identified the stranger. "I thought I'd seen the last of you yesterday..." "No," Stoo informed her. "But I've got news that absolutely needs to go on Brian's blog!" She perked up. Maybe this job wouldn't be so bad after all! "I've received a mysterious package from a as-yet-unknown benefactor!" Kylee instantly deflated. "So? What's that got to do with Brian and his meaningless blog?" "Well, it was addressed to Brian," he pointed out. "So why do you have it?" she asked suspiciously. "Well... Brian wasn't here... " "True. Have you opened it?" "Not yet," Stoo hedged. "But, uh... just to be on the safe side... I probably shoud soon." "But if it's addressed to Brian..." "Brian's not home! This could be really really important! What if it's his mail-order bride come in early?" Stoo was frantic. "Then I would really suggest you wait for him to get back." "We'll see..."

A new boss in town...

"Hey, you!" Kylee looked up from trying to figure out what to write in Brian's blog. He'd left her in charge, saying only that "he would be away," and leaving no explicit instructions. It was Stoo, Brian's invisible friend! "Er, hi," she offered cautiously. Brian had neglected to warn her about invisible characters randomly showing up to bug her. "You must be Kylee." "I am," she confirmed. "But Brian usually calls me Kyleekins, for reasons best known to himself." Stoo grunted unhappily. "I was rather hoping Brian would let me take care of his blog while he was gone," he fumed. "I mean, just because I have no physical body doesn't mean I can't enter cyberspace through my own questionable means and twiddle with the intangibles! But no, he leaves YOU in charge! All YOU know is lyrics to unspeakably filthy songs!" "I don't know any... wait, are you talking about the llama song?" "You sick, sick woman," Stoo accused. "You ought to be locked up for using language like that." Kylee frowned thoughtfully. "You know what? I'm going to kill Brian when he gets back. Kill him, and then kick his sorry whoop at chess." "Why?" Stoo wanted to know. "You could just hire Olivio to kick his sorry whoop." "No, that wouldn't work. She would just ignore it completely and hire somebody else to kick his sorry whoop. She is a lawyer, you know, with a whoop-kicking-lawyer jacket to prove it," she pointed out. "By the way..." "Wh--" Kylee started, just as she was attacked by a cat, who joyously began to chew on her long hairs. "I was going to warn you, but I thought it would be more fun to watch." Stoo would have giggled here, but being the stoic non-giggling type, he refrained. "That's it! Brian can do his own stupid blog! I refuse to put up with invisible friends, rabid cats, and this isn't even my blog!!!" "Bobber's not rabid" Kylee shot both Stoo and Bobber a glare, included LC for good measure, and stalked away.

I'm leaving on a red 95 neon, don't know when I'll be back again

"YOU'RE LEAVING?!" "Just a week!" Twas Saturday and Brian was leaving to go on vacation with his family. The Cabin was built to fit eight, but that didn't stop all fourteen family members from "Livin' La Vida Full House" for a week. "A Full House refrense?" Brian said while breaking the fourth wall of this blog. "Wow, I really have lost my inspiration..." "Speaking of which, I'm assuming that you are leaving me with your blog..." Stoo started. "Wrong," Brian interjected. "No offense, but you're not that computer literate." "Sigh, you break Myspace once..." "But on the bright side, you're probably the only friend Tom deleted!" "So who are you entrusting with this bundle of bloggin joy?" "I'm thinking Kylee" "I thought we were mad at her" "She apologized. Well, Jestingly Yours Co. did. I didn't realize she sold out to the man..." "There is probably a lesbian joke to be made here, but I'm not sure what it is." There was then silence. Brian sighed, sent Kylee his username and password, and went into his bedroom to give a few words of wisdom to his cats. "LC, take care of Bobber. And Bobber, don't chew on electrical chords." Bobber purred and dozed off into a nap and LC followed Brian to the door. "Well," said Brian, "Katie's here. It's time that I leave! See you in a week!" "Bye!" said Stoo. "Meow!" said LC. And Brian left on a week he surely would never forget.